I'm so glad my daughter found her little radio with the microphone that blasts her voice through the speaker at like a million decibels.
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When my kid was about 4 years old I was driving her and my little brother around somewhere. My daughter was being a huge pain, so finally I just reached behind my seat and pinched her leg. Only I accidentally pinched my brother's leg instead. Oh how we laughed? I don't know why I just thought of that. But I did. So there.
So Brenna's got an activity book she's working on during the 8 hour trip home. See how many words you can make out of the words PLAYGROUND SAFETY. She thinks it's funny to find words to describe her mother. Fat Grey (I so do not have grey hair by the way!) Round lays around (I protested this one cuz she used letters twice, but evidently she didn't want to play by the rules.) I suggested the word "young". It didn't make the list. Z starts laughing. Okay, what? He thought of two words that describe me. I ask what they are. He doesn't want to say. Tell me, or you don't get any nookie when we get home. I don't get nookie tonight anyway. Yeah so, tell me anyway. (insert a voice from the back saying "what's nookie?" and me answering "It's kind of like a cookie, only messier") The words : Not Sane. Oh hardy har har. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Friday after I stopped in to do payroll at work, I went to my brother's to get something. Did you bring me a wild cherry pepsi? No, I came from my office Well, if you go to town will you bring me one? I think the next time I leave it will be to go to CO Could you bring me one on your way back from there? When Zac came to pick me up, I needed him and Bre to go over there and get the stuff for the camcorder, and a couple other things. This is the convo he had with Z.. Would you bring me something back from CO? Sure You know what I like, don't you? I'm not sure.. Inflatable animals. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I gave Brenna one of my bottled waters on the way there. She drank some of it, and a little later she asks.. Is this water out of a lake or stream or something? Where's it from? I don't know, from the store It tastes funny That's because it's all pure and filtered and crap, it's not like our well water I wondered if she'd notice. All water tastes like crap to me, if it's not from our well. Drinking the stuff for 27 years will do that to a person I guess. This old man, he played seven, he played knick-knack on my.. on my.. Mom, what rhymes with seven? Umm.. Heaven, eleven, devon? This old man, he played seven, he played knick-knack on my Devon.. I just watched that part of the video. I laughed a lot. And now I know why she asked that question. Everyone needs a video of like 20 minutes of watching a kid make her hand sing songs in the back of a truck. It's hilarious, people. Trust me on this. I am watching the last part of the video now. Well the last hour maybe. So far there's been 36 minutes of my kid screwing around and talking to herself. She flipped it around so she could watch herself in the little screen. She's making all these faces, and doing weird things with her eyes. Then all of a sudden she stops, gets right up to the camera so all you can see are her eyes and nose, and moves her eyeballs around and says "I know you guys can see me!" Like all paranoid. Oh my gosh it's funny. Later she ducks and sings "you can't see meeeeee" You're jealous, I know. But you can't have her. Who are these kids, and why are they calling me mom? My shirt says that. Right now at this very moment. I love it. I only have one kid, but still. good times. My other new shirt says Don't flatter yourself, I was looking at your friend. Also, a classic And now, for some pictures. My kid and Emmyboo My kid doing what she spent a lot of time doing on vacation. I am not, nor have I ever been, a jungle gym!
Oh, back on the Memorial Day trip. I learned about something that went on while we were stuck in the meat cooler. It makes me laugh, so you get to hear it too. My daughter and my cousin's daughter Cassandra found this baby bunny. They were carrying it around and petting it, and showing it to all the other kids. It was dead. No it's not, it's just sleeping, it moved a minute ago. Yeah, it'd move when they'd pet it. Because they were petting it. Of course they were not allowed to bring it in the house, but they wouldn't leave it outside alone because it'd die! Finally I guess they let my dad take it out in the pasture and "find a bunny nest to put it in so a mommy bunny would take care of it".
My daughter has talked me into letting her have an email address. I'm such a cool mom?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Sunburn. ohhh mommy.. You wouldn't mind tasting this potion for me, would you?
My daughter says this to me last night as she brings in a little vial of pinkish liquid. What's in it? Don't you trust me? About as far as I can throw you. In the pool or like just standing here? P.S. There was chocolate milk, sugar, water, and some orangey powdery mix stuff out of a packet in that potion by the way. And I did try it. I'm a kickass mom like that. My kid's at my office. In her goggles. She is some sorta special. I'm so proud. Did you mail the instructions to Lyndsay yet? Yes dear. Are you sure? Yes dear. Can I write her something else even if she didn't write back yet? um, yeah. Can it say "Would you please write me back soon?" I suppose so *pause while she writes* I think I'm bored with writing now That was fast. Can I take more pictures? My camera's outta memory, you took all you can for now Damn.. *gasps and covers her mouth* oopsie! I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that oh good because I'm in the middle of drawing a picture. What are you drawing? I think Lyndsay would like to know what I look like in my goggles Yeah, you're pretty sexy MOM! Do you have to say the S-E-X word? It's gross. Okay fine, you look goofy. You wear them! We'll see how good you look.. No thanks Am I seven, or seven and a half? You won't be seven and a half until October. I think I'll write seven and a half anyway cuz I doubt Lyndsay will know You're tricky. Ok fine I'll just write 7 It doesn't matter to me, honey. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I turned my kid loose with the camera to keep her busy while I attempted to work this afternoon. I've come to the conclusion that she is indeed, a freak. Just like her momma. I have about 20 pictures of this.. as well as a picture of every trashcan, chair, machine, vehicle, side of the building, road, neighboring buildings, thing in my office. 89 pictures. To be exact. And no, no matter how much you beg, I'm not posting them all. Here's one of the more normal ones. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
So my kid's being a pain while I'm on the work line talking to Kristi earlier today. Loud as all hell. After I hang up, I tell her it was VERY rude, and she won't be doing THAT ever again. So does this mean I don't get chicken nuggets? It means I may have to beat you. But I still get the food, right? Ahhh.. priorities. When my brother was little I used to call him "Johnney Marie". I gave everybody the middle name Marie, actually. I am very easily amused and all. Anyway, we were all in the car when he was about 2ish. Mom asked him if he knew what his middle name was, and without even thinking about it he blurted out "Marie!". We laughed at him, and then he realized his mistake. But it was great. I promise. What's even more fun, is that he did it again when he was like 5.
Oh oh! While I'm sharing John stories. You must hear this one. The kids go to a country school. It's got 2 rooms. K-3rd & 4th-6th. When he was in 1st grade he was really into like birds and stuff. And he had this daydreaming/imagination "issue" that he still hasn't quite grown out of. Anyway, he was sitting there staring into space. (He got his sister's ability to "use time wisely".) Suddenly he lets out a loud eagle call. I really wish I was closer to his age at that time. I would have given my left big toe to get to witness something like that. But alas, I did not. However, this allows me to add large eagle wing-like arm movements to the vision of him doing this in my mind. And that makes it even funnier. That's how I tell it to his friends. Then he's all I did NOT pretend to fly! And then I'm all Well how am I supposed to know, I wasn't there. I just assumed that when one blurts out eagle noises in the middle of a spelling test that it would also involve eagle-type body language. Saturday night my daughter ate a steak that filled up 3/4 of a paper plate, and 7 ears of corn.
Sunday she ate chips. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ My kid would be really upset to hear that Avril Lavigne doesn't like Hilary Duff. |
AuthorI'm a married, stay-at-home mom of at least 5. And my family is nuts. Archives
August 2017
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